I met this guy named Captain Atom a few days ago, and he asked me to join the U.S. government. I declined because I am already in the government (I can't talk about it because I'd have to kill all of you). Anyway, he seemed like an ok guy.
Then I met him again yesterday at the gym. We did some yoga...and a large amount of flirting.
What am I thinking?! What about Ferdinand?!
In my defense, ever since I arrived on Earth and discovered my powers, I have avoided sexual contact with human males, because it takes overwhelming self control not to crush them like ants during you-know-what. I have had plenty of guy friends, but I avoided any kind of serious dating. It was usually adios after the first kiss, which hurt more than you can imagine.
So what has this got to do with Ferdinand and Captain Atom? (There's a sentence I never expected to write! It sounds like the name of a cartoon.)
Around the time I decided to take up the super heroine mantle, a bunch of metahumans started popping up. Several of them, like Ferdy and Captain Atom, were really hot. Suddenly, I go from a bread and water diet of men to seeing a huge buffet of guys! And I don't have to worry about crushing them!
Wait a minute Kara...What about breaking their hearts?
Huh? Me, the world's biggest geek girl, suddenly has to worry about being a heart breaker? Get real, right?
Which brings me to the workout with Captain Atom. After the yoga, with all the flirting, I decided it would be best to do some sparring with him. You can't flirt with a guy you're hitting, right? So we head down to the beach and start sparring. And then it happened: He threw me into the sand, and I got the giggles. I couldn't stop laughing. That was the end of the sparring.
Then it started raining. It was like the fates were conspiring to push me into a romantic situation with a hot guy. Even worse, he pulls me down into the wet sand, and we start covering each other with the stuff and wrestling in it. I turned on the heavy flirting too, but he remained honorable.
I left, and yes, I was angry. I was also guilty and horny and every negative emotion. I know I betrayed Ferdy in my heart. But the worst part was I couldn't just see him. He had to return to Themyscira for something, so he was out of town, leaving me to deal with temptation on my own.
So I went back to the gym, and was going to work out some more. Instead, I sat down on a sofa there, and just thought for awhile. But then a hot Scotsman named James walks up and hits on me.
I should mention that ever since I've been working out, I have also developed much better self-control. I can actually live my life in "normal human strength" without accidentally crushing anyone. I might even be able to have a normal human relationship. The irony isn't lost on me: It took me learning how to use my superhuman powers to be able to also learn how to behave like a normal human.
So now I have a whole planet full of hot guys available to me, and I'm taken? What? How did that happen?!
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